Volume 2 Issue 9
February 13, 2003
Seven Up!
Anti-Valentine's reach a peak, America continues to panic, and the 6-pack becomes the Gang of Seven
Sorry for the delay...in my office we meet for hours sometimes on what to order for lunch, you can imagine how long they are when we're doing actual work!
Well, today I'm going to take a brief break from this duct tape crazed nation, and talk about a few other cultural idiocies out there. Of course with Valentine's day approaching, it's not just chemical and biological weapons that are in the air, apparently love is as well. As you'll see below, a new British survey says that more "text messages" will be sent for Valentine's day this year than actual cards. Text messaging is something that really hasn't caught on in the US (thank the Lord), but is something the phone companies are trying to push. It makes little sense to me, since if you have a phone, you would talk to someone with it, not send them dumb messages, but I guess it could be useful in meetings, for kids bored in class,etc. Anyway, this brings me to the latest series of Verizon ads. First, full disclosure, Verizon does my home phone and my cell phone. For now. If there's another one of these dumb ads though, I may switch out of spite. Let's review.
The most recent captures this "text messaging" phenom, with a guy finishing a date by messaging his "crew" (actual word used in commercial) that he thinks he's falling for the girl. How cute. Except no man would do that. Ever. But, it's a commercial, so we'll put some of reality aside for now. Then, he puts his phone down on the seat, where it's clear to all of us, except this idiot "blinded by love" that his girlfriend has the same exact phone, and she's left it in the car. So, when she comes back, he "accidentally" hands her his phone, which has a cute message from one of his buddies that she sees. OK, this would also not happen. In fact, if he had really sent the first message, what would have come back from his friends likely would not have been showable on television. But anyway, she giggles, and says "text me later." Um...excuse me? What the hell is the purpose of having a phone, if you're just going to send IM's on it! Why don't you call her? No wonder romance is dead. Instead of having to make conversation with someone, now all we have to do is send some 10 character message? It's not like she's going to be in a board meeting, she'll be watching TV or vacuuming the cat or something. Then to top off the commercial, she trips and falls while turning from the car...apparently because she can't walk, because we don't see her trip on anything. The guy (who's supposedly in love with her, right?) doesn't even get out of the car to help her. This seems to be a stupid gag that makes the whole commercial seem dumber, like Verizon is saying "hey, we're the biggest baddest phone company in the land, so we can show people our phones are used by idiots." I really fail to see how this commercial will sell any product whatsoever...I guess no publicity is bad publicity, but I mean, it really makes me question using Verizon.
The other commercial that they are airing now, I will call "the stalker." (View the ad here, it's real title is "miracle" - http://www22.verizon.com/progress/) Now, a lot of people I have talked to have said they thought this commercial was cute. Ok, sure. But...think about it. If you were pissed at a former boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other, and they then: 1) continuously called you...17 voice mail messages. 2) filled up your e-mail box with photos of them 3) faxed you multiple notes, etc etc. Let's face it, most of you would call the police. Yet Verizon is saying, "look, our products can help you be a better stalker!" You even see the guy standing at a window staring into the girl's apartment! What's sad is that throughout this commercial, they destroy the great Mike and Mechanics song "All I need is a Miracle", which I suppose will now become the stalkers anthem. Perhaps he was also blaring it into her apartment at 100 decibels. Verizon..."make progress every day...toward prison."
Ah...glad to get that out of the system. Ok, on to the insanity today. Sorry that it's a big short, I have meetings at work this afternoon, so some stuff from today will have to appear tomorrow.
And if the cold weather is getting you down, just a note, today is the first day of Spring Training for pitchers and catchers!!!
Anti-Valentines of the Day: Before getting to the rest of the day's business, let's look at the ridiculousness of the holiday du jour -
Ok, there is way too much research going on about kissing. And to make things stranger, this guy's research was conducted by standing in an airport and watching people. So much for airport security. -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/2752949.stm
http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/europe/02/12/science.kissing.r eut/index.html
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2003/02/0212_030212_ rightkiss.html
A British report says that more Valentine text messages will be exchanged this year than real cards. Linguists are worried about what text messaging is doing to the culture. -
http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/ptech/02/13/text.messaging.ap/i ndex.html
A new survey says, no surprise, that men spend more money on Valentine's day than women. Of course, this is a Wal-Mart survey. -
http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/South/02/12/offbeat.valentine.sur vey.ap/index.html
And, to prove how love makes people do dumb things...a dentist in Florida was today convicted of murder for running over her husband in her Mercedes when she saw him with his mistress. Looks like love can be dangerous -
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/02/13/national/13CND-SLAY.html
The Panic Continues: The US Mood remains grim -
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/02/13/national/13MOOD.html
Officials are now backpedaling, and telling people to please not kill themselves by wrapping up in plastic...and they admit that in the case of a nuclear or radiological (dirty bomb) attack, the best bet is not to wrap yourself in a room, but get to a basement or subway station, and stay there for a few weeks. I guess you have to bring your own food and water. And duct tape. -
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A225-2003Feb12.html
Senator Bill Frist, the Senate Majority Leader, even has a book on what to do...buy it on the site and support the Swamp!
But in Philadelphia, they are actually coming to their senses, and may reopen some streets when the terror traffic light goes back to yellow -
http://www.philly.com/mld/dailynews/5166195.htm
I'm Crazy for Duct Tape, and Duct Tape's Crazy for me: Duct Tape manufacturers are working overtime -
http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/5166211.htm
The "duct tape guys" have suggestions on the use for homeland security. One: Increase duct tape from 2.5 rolls per house to 1.5 rolls per room -
http://www.octanecreative.com/ducttape/DHS/index.html
Experts debate whether people could seal themselves off quick enough -
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/02/13/national/13PROT.html
Panic all around the World - In London, Heathrow remains locked down, and parts of Gatwick airport have closed -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/2757143.stm
Oh, and there's an Ebola outbreak in the Congo -
http://www.cnn.com/2003/HEALTH/conditions/02/13/congo.ebola. reut/index.html
Iraq - In and out in 30 days: Newsweek reported this week that the Pentagon wants troops out of Iraq in 30 to 60 days. So much for rebuilding the place...the most dangerous foreign policy in the world -
http://www.msnbc.com/news/870481.asp?0dm=-159K
Rumsfeld repeated that at a Congressional hearing today, but did say the troops will stay as long as necessary. Perhaps they will even stay long enough to actually capture Saddam instead of letting him get away -
http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/meast/02/13/sprj.irq.wrap/inde x.html
Oh, and the US dropped leaflets on Iraq the other day. These are great, take a look -
http://www.centcom.mil/Galleries/leaflets/20030212.htm
That Other Country: The North Korean posse is looking to blackmail us more...check out the photo -
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/02/13/international/13KORE.html
Kim Jong Il and his "crew" try to walk around without being annoyed by a cell phone salesman.
Look Who's Running for President: Al Sharpton will be on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno this evening.
Look Who's Running for President 2: Carol Mosley-Braun is in, and will file her papers next week. -
http://www.adn.com/24hour/politics/story/761876p-5496487c.html
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/chi-030212braun,1,6458003.story?col
Look Who's Running for President 3: Wesley Clark will make a New Hampshire trip next week -
http://www.politicsnh.com/archives/pindell/2003/february/2_1 3_03.htm
Look Who's Running For President - A Scorecard Update (2/10):
RUNNING
Gov. Howard "Jed Barlett" Dean (Vermont) - http://www.deanforamerica.com/
Senator John Kerry (Massachusetts) - http://www.johnkerry.com
Senator John Edwards (North Carolina) - http://www.johnedwards2004.com/
Congressman Richard Gephardt (Missouri) Reportedly Dick will have a site by next week...
Al Sharpton (NY) - http://www.sharptonexplore2004.com/
Senator Joe Liberman (Conn.) - http://www.joe2004.com
Former Senator Carol Moseley Braun (Illinois)
CONSIDERING
Former Senator Gary Hart (Colorado) - http://www.garyhartnews.com
Congressman Dennis Kucinich (Ohio) - http://www.draftkucinich.com/
Senator Bob Graham (Florida)
General Wesley Clark (Arkansas)
Senator Chris Dodd (Conn.)
LONG SHOTS
Senator Joseph Biden (Delaware)
50 "favorite sons" under the Donna Brazille plan
And half the Democratic Party over the age of 35.
OUT
Former VP and President-Elect Al Gore
Governor Gray Davis (California)
Former Senator Bill Bradley (New Jersey)
Senator Tom Daschle (South Dakota)
Senator Hilary Clinton (New York)
Card Movement Today: Look's like Carol's in, meaning we can't use the term "6-pack" any more...I think I'm going to go with Gang of Seven now. If you have anything better, let me know!
Bad John Edwards Photo of the Day: "That's right, and with the new and improved Tupperware, you can store almost 3 days worth of food in half the space in your fridge, leaving room for the water, duct tape, and other emergency supplies!"
http://media.gatewaync.com/wsj/photos/specialreports/edwards /edwards15.jpg
So who's getting preferential treatment? With all the controversy over affirmative action, one area of college admissions that is getting more scrutiny is that of legacy admissions...or "affirmative action for rich, white people" as critics would have it -
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/02/13/education/13LEGA.html
Ending the "exploitation"? Nebraska's governor has said he will sign a bill allowing University of Nebraska's football players to be paid a stipend for playing. While many criticize this action for taking away from the amateur status of athletes, from last week's discussion on LeBron James I think it's clear that the athletes are being exploited too. Yes, they're getting a free education, but at big schools like Nebraska, most of the players will have professional careers in some form, and the school makes an immense amount of money off of them. It is a more complex question than you would think at first -
http://espn.go.com/ncf/news/2003/0212/1507801.html
Underreported story of the day: Enron apparently paid no income taxes for most of the 1990's. By "bribing" the IRS with retreats and parties, and then doing things so complex that the IRS was embarrassed to say they couldn't understand it. -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/2756345.stm
Space Shuttle Columbia: Did a solar radiation storm destroy the Shuttle? The latest theory -
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/02/13/national/nationalspecial/1 3DIST.html
Only in New Jersey: With a new arena supposedly being build in Newark, there's room for renovation at the Meadowlands sports complex. So what to do...let's make it a giant playground, complete with an indoor skiing range! In the middle of a swamp! Yeah! -
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/02/13/nyregion/13MEAD.html
Jersey City has decided to abolish its ethics commission. Because the commissioners were being unethical. -
http://www.nj.com/news/jjournal/index.ssf?/base/news-0/1045134738302281.xml
The Joe Millionaire "controversy": Man, FOX is doing a good job with this, even having "viewers" call for a boycott for the finale b/c they were pissed at this week's episode. Wow. Anyway, again I will put out my call for theories on what the "twist" is on the real finale next Monday. Perhaps, if we get enough entries, I'll even get a prize for someone...e-mail away! () . -
http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/TV/02/13/joe.millionaire.ap/ index.html
Why do Lions like to eat the British? Another story in a British paper about people being eaten by lions! Must be the rainy weather or something that makes them taste good -
http://www.thisislondon.com/news/articles/3376461?source=Eve ning%20Standard
By the way, that article mentions the lions that terrorized workers building a bridge at Tsavo in 1898, an incident made famous in the film The Ghost and the Darkness with Val Kilmer and Michael Douglas. The actual lions can be seen at the Field Museum in Chicago.
Please don't try to kill me, Romania: Eva Peron she was not, but the remains of former Romanian King Carol, and his mistress Elena Lupescu are returning to their native land -
http://abcnews.go.com/sections/world/DailyNews/romania030213 _royals.html
Have a great day!
Gregory S. Gadren
