From The Swamp - The World According to Greg | March 12, 2003 (Vol. 2 Iss. 28)

It's Mailbag Time!

What's in Greg's e-mail, Tony Blair hangs on for dear life, and more to do with duct tape!

OK, time and imagination prohibit a column today, so here's one or two of the more thoughtful comments I've received recently. And below look for a new feature!

One reader from Missouri pointed out a glaring omission in my column advocating a new draft:
Now that women are allowed into nearly every facet of military service (foot soldier on the front being one of the only exceptions) and we ask to be treated with equity in every facet of our lives, is it fair that women are excluded from the draft. My position is that it isn't fair, as you've said there's a ton of work to be done outside the battle field and work that doesn't require the physical capabilities of men, so why not include women. I realize that at least this time around it won't happen (there is not system set up for it) but i think its time the nation had such a discussion.

An excellent point indeed, and one I should say I fully agree with. Any new draft should include women as well as men. Actually, when the Selective Service registration resumed in the late 1970's, the Carter Administration originally wanted to include women too, but Congress changed it so that only men would have to register.

Another reader had another idea on how to solve the primary problem, for which I had suggested using the old Delaware plan -
Both heads of all the state parties meet in one place in DC. At the center of the room is a lotto machine with lets say 51 ping pong balls. You assign primary time by week, first 2 balls out of the thing get lets say Tuesday January 13th, 2004, next one gets Saturday Jan. 17th, and than keep going until all the weeks are filled. 2 on Tuesdays 1 on Saturday etc. etc. I know I am leaving off Guam and the other places, but since its at 51 states/territories it works out to 17 weeks so in my demented version primary season would be over by the first week in May.

Demented it may be, but it's still better than the one we've got, and by giving each state it's own time, it allows for some interesting campaign strategies as well. Regardless, we really need to fix the system we have now.

So today I was reading through my work e-mail, and found a link to a site with "unusual scholarships." So, periodically I'll feature one, but I'm going to definitely focus on this one: "The Duck Brand Duct Tape Stuck on Prom Scholarship", which awards over $12,000 in college scholarships to high school couples who go to their proms...dressed in duct tape outfits. I'm not joking. Here's the site -
http://www.ducktapeclub.com/prom/default.asp

And here are the archives...which feature photos of each of the 500 couples, and some of these kids are really creative -
http://www.ducktapeclub.com/prom/archive.asp

The tips section is great -
http://www.ducktapeclub.com/prom/tips.asp

And somewhere on there is a story section as well...what do you do when your duct tape tux or dress rips? Duct tape it! Maybe Tom Ridge can present the check to this year's winners. And you can damn well expect the Swamp will feature details of the contest as prom season progresses. Onto the insanity!

Is Tony in trouble? Tony Blair is having problems that may make his failure to register his car the least of his problems -
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A12566-2003Mar11.html

And Rumsfeld saying we could go without Britain doesn't help him -
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A14157-2003Mar12.html

Tony's tried to survive, and has issued a draft list of 6 demands that the US and UK would make to Saddam as a last chance -
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/03/12/international/europe/12CND -LIST.html

The "Coalition of the Willing"...or the invisible: Maureen Dowd worries that the administration is hallucinating, since it seems to think we have allies -
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/03/12/opinion/12DOWD.html

And in a great example of the American way, more of the plan for Iraq's reconstruction has come out. It involves of course, leaving most of the civil structure we're going in there to kill in place, and then paying them too! -
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A12825-2003Mar11.html

The Kurds: Tim Noah says things ain't exactly coming up roses for the Kurds -
http://slate.msn.com/id/2079987/

Nick Kristof notes that the US may not comprehend what's going to happen there -
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/03/11/opinion/11KRIS.html

That Other Country: North Korea may test a missile capable of hitting the Western US soon -
http://www.washingtontimes.com/national/20030312-477649.htm

Other Violence: The Serbian Prime Minister was assassinated today in Belgrade, dealing yet another blow to the nation's attempt to rebuild a Democratic state. If this type of liberation is what we have in mind for Iraq, that should be real fun -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/2843433.stm

Mr. Djindjic's Obit -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/2843451.stm

Look Who's Running for President: Wesley Clark still says he's not running -
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A13180-2003Mar11.html

Good Government at Work: In New Jersey, a group of Democrats are pushing to allow optometrists to do laser surgery, even though they are not doctors. Of course, I'm sure the fact that their Party boss happens to own a large chain of optometrists has nothing to do with it -
http://www.courierpostonline.com/news/southjersey/m031203e.h tm

Who wants to be in Texas anyway? New Mexico will sue Texas, claiming that a slice of land on their border actually belongs to New Mexico. The Supreme Court has recently been helpful to these cases, just a few years ago it gave Ellis Island and Liberty Island back to New Jersey -
http://www.austin360.com/statesman/editions/wednesday/metro_ state_3.html

The Airlines want more: The airlines are asking the federal government for even more money!
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2003/03/12/financial1015EST0047.DTL

And a British Airways plan had to land after a toddler threw a temper tantrum -
http://www.thisislondon.com/news/articles/3774859?source=Eve ning%20Standard

Typical DC Government Response: Metro GM Dick White is annoyed that people were pissed when the subway didn't run for a whole week after the blizzard, saying that people had expectations that were too high. Yes, I know, us damn people in DC...expecting to actually get city services for the hoards of taxes we pay. Who'd a thunk it?
http://www.washingtontimes.com/metro/20030312-91316268.htm

Is anyone out there? SETI scientists will analyze some promising data in their search for extraterrestrial life -
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2003/03/12/MN129485.DTL

March Madness: The University of Connecticut's Women's basketball team lost yesterday, the first time that's happened in 70 games. An unlikely Villanova women's team were the victors in the Big East Championship. In a week filled with scandal in the men's programs, a good show of true sportsmanship -
http://www.philly.com/mld/inquirer/5371367.htm
http://www.philly.com/mld/inquirer/5369920.htm

Global Warming continues...to make us colder: One of the most annoying things to hear during winter are people who think they're being funny by mentioning global warming. Well, actually, global warming will only warm some parts of the earth. Others will actually get colder...like Greenland, although this may be just a case of long-term data distorting a short term trend -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/2840137.stm

Who Wants to goto Jail? The Millionaire trial continues in Britain -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/2842163.stm

Get yourself a gun: HBO and James Gandolfini, star of their hit show The Sopranos, are locked in a bitter legal fight over a contract dispute. Could the show not go on?
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/03/12/business/media/12TUBE.html ?8hpib

Can he get a refund on the anger management thing? Two men who met at an anger management workshop were involved in a fight when one accused the other of killing his chicken. -
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2003/03/12/BA136317.DTL

Don't we wish: The Onion had a good one today -
http://www.theonion.com/onion3909/ted_turner.html

A Bad Book Review: Finally, I really can't put this article into words. It's so well written, you have to read it yourself -
http://espn.go.com/mlb/columns/stark_jayson/1521918.html

Iditarod 31 Action

Wow...it's been a busy 24 hours, as the leader is no longer secure. Ramy Brooks, a long time Iditarod runner, stole the lead from Norewegin Robert Sorlie yesterday, but as the race nears Nome, Sorlie has regained the lead, getting into White Mountain 90 minutes ahead of Brooks. Both are now there taking the required 8 hour layover before heading out for the last leg to Nome, 55 miles to the Safety Checkpoint, and then 22 miles to the finish. By press time tomorrow, it is definitely likely that we will have a winner! Officials project a winner sometime around Midnight Nome time, or around 4am Eastern. The temperature around finish should be around 5 BELOW Zero Fahrenheit.

The current standings -
http://www.iditarod.com/2003standings/data/include/details.h tml

A Description of the next leg of the trail...which doesn't sound fun -
http://www.iditarod.com/whitemtn.html

News of Brooks' bid for first - http://www.adn.com/iditarod/news/story/2756724p-2806223c.html

The Second-tier pack is waiting for their moment -
http://www.adn.com/iditarod/news/story/2756727p-2806220c.html

And...your Iditarod Photos of the day -

Hey, wait a minute...why the hell are we pulling this thing when there are trucks around?

And then I went to grab the bear like this...and realized I was just hallucinating after being in the snow for 8 days. I thought the dogs might eat me